New #vlog of this week! Sharing an amazing lesson I learned from myself and cleared the shitty sorrows of my life - #UnAppreciation is actually the #Appreciation! 󾌰󾌵󾌸 #dsc :) #selftime #selflove #selfappreciation #life #selfconfidence #myphilosophy

Again and again......(selfcomposed poem)

Again and again you cheat me...

Again and again you make me cry...

Again and again you make me feel worthless...

Again and again, why you make me fall in and cheat my emotions...

Again and again, you break me into pieces...

Again and again, you take me to the horrified nostalgia...

Again and again, you make me scream in the crowded hall...

Again and again, you make me emotional fool and let me kiss your fake heart...

Again and again, you make me feel the pain in my heart which makes me crazy to think what sin I did...

Again and again, you kill my soul and make me beg in front of you for my happiness...

Again and again, you test my honesty but never give justice to my feelings...

Again and again, you make me feel the ugliest woman in the entire universe...

Again and again, you create a void in my heart and ask to work hard making me tough to breathe...

Again and again, besides I don't like to complain.. you make me complain you God about what you always do to me...

Again and again, I try my hard to get over things and move on but put me in traps...

Again and again, you make my soul cry and feel the loneliest in the universe...

Again and again, you suck my happiness and make me regret why I even smile...

Again and again, you give complexes and make me culprit of my own destruction...

Again and again, what you want me God... they always play with my emotions and rape my heart brutally...

Again and again, you stay still and never listen my prayers for my love....

Again and again, you never understand my pure love and makes me feel that my love is the most stinking one in the world....

Again and again, I suffer the same... make me feel to end my life....

Again and again, again and again, again and again.....

Trust me my Lord... this heart will shine no more....

#Dsc (to my Lord for the things he do again and again to me)... #poem #selfcomposed

Yes Masturdating is amazing!

This Morning -

I got up -- Switched On my phone - A msg on messenger from a friend ---- " Ready for Masturdating? " ---- I rubbed my eyes and read it again.. then I was like -- Oh yes always up for it!

Second time have been quoted for #Masturdating aka #SelfDating in print media.

So, the thing is I am a person who don't want bf or friends to whom I can ping all the day or ask to stay with me.. I like freedom and love spend more time with myself. It is really difficult for me to be in relationship or be a gf of someone -- nothing intentionally but I don't know how to get obsessed with others and follow them all the day.. NO ... they have their life and I have mine.. !

Well, this article in today's TOI - Ahmedabad Times | Page 4.- http://epaperbeta.timesofindia.com/index.aspx?eid=31805&dt=20160427#

Oppss... yeah The Social Network Made my day

So far I have never abused on my blog, but today I feel to abuse and open my heard... What the hell happening to me when I just so concerned when people criticized..

Fucking time is changing and I am not sure whats gonna happen next... I am doing many fucking changes in my life, with profession, with relations, with people, with behavior,..

Oh holy crap.. I have stopped being obsessed with things I used to care unnecessarily... I guess coming few years things are changing like anything for me.. there will drastic changes..

Today, my day got segmented in many different parts may be due to my mood-swings...  

I don't feel to write much today,.. but still wanted to blog something... not matter it that's a shit...

I can't sleep .. the fire is burning like anything...

I wish my wish get fulfilled by the god... Jeezzzzzz...

#DSC

A Little True Love Incident by Jenny Chawla | Fiction Short Love Story

A Little True Love Incident :

She : See.. it's hard to love but I love you so much... more than anything....
He : Don't love me.. it will trouble you..
She : But WHY???
He : B'coz we have no future..
She : You're lucky that you know your future.. I am not sure about mine...
He : Well.....
She : No worries stay happy but remember my words - it's hard to love ..but I love you so much...
He : it's all common..
She : smile emoticon take care... just stay happy good bye...

After few months, the boy was into many affairs searching what he was looking in and out... and girl moved on and made herself stable accepting his rejection... went calm..

Suddenly after long then met in a cafe coincidentally, and they met sharing pleasant looks.

He : Omg you are still the same..how u have been?
She : Yeah I am still the boring same... but you look changed... actually smart .. smile emoticon
He : okay.. what you do now?
She : I am living my life smile emoticon
He : Lol, I have my own company...
She : so .... are you happy in your life?
He : Off course I am ... I am rich, famous, stardom life, hot and sexy girls are crazy for me... , have my own house, car...what more I need..
She : Wooah. I just wanted to know that you are happy... Good bye...

The girl quickly left without promising any further connection... but again after few months they met ... the girl was same and never extended any relations any dam time they met & on the other hand the guy was growing his luxurious happiness life and never cared to look at the originality of the girl and thought to keep in touch... these sudden meets happens 8 times within 5 years .... and when they met 9th time .... The girl was still the same - calm ... enjoying her hot coffee in an another cafe... coincidentally they both met again....

He : Stop.... don't say anything....
She : why what happened... (perplexed)
He : You were always the same but always the different...
She : Pardon ... ?
He : I am sorry... You always loved me whenever we met in these 5 years and you just always wanted to know about my happiness.... and I wonder why that's so important for you to know if I am happy or sad.....?
She : So..... are you happy in your life ?
He : Yes ... I am bcoz I am with you! Are you happy in your life ? And my happiness and love is you and to get you back in my life...
She : Yes, today I am the happiest person after years... bcoz finally you are happy with me...

Last line.... She : You know it's hard to love, but I love you so much .... Still.... ( with happy tears)

Moral - True love never dies... no matter what.... if you feel you truly love someone... just love and expect his or her happiness... nothing else.... 

smile emoticon

‪#‎dsc‬ ‪#‎shortstory‬ ‪#‎lovestory‬ ‪#‎fiction‬

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Let me know your review about this short storie, this is my first story.. look forward to feedbacks.. :)

Lessons of life!

Lessons of life: Don't be that rude to someone that your own life turns rude to you! Don't try to insult someone so much that your own life insults you every single day! Don't frighten someone that much which snatch away their peace and then in some years it will snatch away your peace also! Don't hurt someone that much that your own life hurts you and there remain no scope to heal! Don't be so over confident that your own confidence turns to be punishment to your life! Don't take people's kindness that granted that when those people move on and your own life starts taking you granted and you stay no more kind to thyself! Don't be that ignorant to your own sins and faults that one day those sins and faults kills you! Don't make fun of good and polite people that one day your own time makes fun of you! Don't disrespect any dam person whether they are good or worst, you never know when your life will be good or bad to you! Don't be that self obsessed and treat people so common and like a non-living thing that one day besides you take breath, you will be recognized as a non-living and worthless creature! No one is 'tooph' in this world, only time and good karma wins! Change if you really be unfair to anything or being in your life, good and bad time waits for none. :) #alwaysremember #dsc #iamphilosopher

How to live happy and maintain good relations with NARCISSIST people?

Yes, I am in love with NARCISSIST person, or you can say a self obsessed person but but but.. he is not a selfish person. So, as I am a philosopher it is my great interest to understand and explore people. You will not believe that how is possible that a 24 years old girl has got this old age people's interest of understand people, yes understanding people is something makes me feel so amazing about them and myself too. By the way, understanding people is an amazing experimental art. 

Well, let me share something about 'NARCISSIST people, actually who are they? Let's see what wikipedia says :

Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's own attributes. The term originated from Greek mythology, where the young Narcissus fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water.

Narcissism is a concept in psychoanalytic theory, which was popularly introduced in Sigmund Freud's essay On Narcissism (1914). TheAmerican Psychiatric Association has had the classification narcissistic personality disorder in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) since 1968, drawing on the historical concept of megalomania.

Narcissism is also considered a social or cultural problem. It is a factor in trait theory used in various self-report inventories of personality^[1]such as the Millon Clinical Multiaxial Inventory. It is one of the three dark triadic personality traits (the others being psychopathy andMachiavellianism).

Except in the sense of primary narcissism or healthy self-love, narcissism is usually considered a problem in a person's or group's relationships with self and others. Narcissism is not the same as egocentrism.

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Okay, so 'badha panga hai' with these kind of people, but nothing is impossible, I am sure you agree!

Today, my guy is really complicated, he even doesn't love to me but winning over life is more important to me. He is narcissist person, but he is a person, so the world ends there. If you expect love from such a person in return, then it will hurt you a lot. No, please love a narcissist person with no expectations in returns. It's actually a risk but risk taking for such people are worth in love, if you truly know the meaning of love. 

Below are some common traits that a narcissistic relationship partner is likely to have:

• Sense of entitlement or superiority
• Lack of empathy
• Manipulative or controlling behavior
• Strong need for admiration
• Focus on getting one’s own needs met, often ignoring the needs of others
• Higher levels of aggression
• Difficulty taking feedback about their behavior

Let's dig their behavior even deeper:

1. Conversation Hoarder : The narcissist loves to talk about him or herself, and doesn’t give you a chance to take part in a two-way conversation. You struggle to have your views and feelings heard. When you do get a word in, if it’s not in agreement with the narcissist, your comments are likely to be corrected, dismissed, or ignored. But that's fine! You should be happy that your guy or girl is expressive. And you just need to understand and listen them. When you listen to someone, especially to the person you love the most, you actually make them feel special that some one like you are there to listen them and understand. 

2. Conversation Interrupter : While many people have the poor communication habit of interrupting others, the narcissist interrupts and quickly switches the focus back to herself. He shows little genuine interest in you and considers you at easy, but again here you don't need to misjudge that he is taking you granted, you have to understand him and his needs from you and be person whom you can interrupt and be at easy. It's nothing that they don't care, its just they really don't have any idea that what they need to do and how they need to understand others. So, just be calm if they interrupt, ultimate love is to keep your partner happy and at comfort zone.

3. Rule Breaker: They easily changes and manipulates rules, ethics and situations forming a new story and depicts a smart image about themselves, but but but if you love them you just need to focus on understanding them without judging them in negation and accept them the way they are, as it should be the way when you are in love with any narcissist person.

4. Charmer: Narcissists can be very charismatic and persuasive. When they’re interested in you (for their own gratification), they make you feel very special and wanted. However, once they lose interest in you (most likely after they’ve gotten what they want, or became bored), they may drop you without a second thought. A narcissist can be very engaging and sociable, as long as you’re fulfilling what she desires, and giving her all of your attention. But if you are partner is charmer, you don't need to worry much and just put your true efforts. Show them how much love and special they are for you. It really works, though someone never expresses, but woooowwing someone always make that someone feel very happening and special.

In short, it is easy, just be yourself and original to NARCISSIST people, there will be 2 possibilities either they will discard you or make distance from you; will understand and fall in for you or be your friends forever without caring your love for them but definitely needing your love for them to feel super pampered.  

I am putting my all efforts to make my guy feel the most special person on the globe for me with right and positive deeds and expecting nothing in return. And I trust, that there will be day he will feel my value because we are humans and we have heart which is filled with emotions and feelings; its just we don't unleash our emotional powers in correct way. 

3:22 AM, I got to sleep!

Signing OFF! Good Bye, see you soon with again something new. TC.

Never Mind Writing!

Yes, its my personal blog, and right now I feel that living an isolated life is not that bad. When you are meant to love and live alone, you can't even cry or roar out of your choice. It's my choice to be alone. Hence , I am now dependent much on my virtual world.

These days I am so confused as in what kind of personality I am!!!!!

Today, a very dear friend of mine helped me to analysis what I am and asked me to work on my mess, whether it is relationships, work, health or emotions... whatever it is! He asked me to figure out my complexes within myself. Yes, I am envy of some people.. not to destroy them but find them so lucky that they get what they want.

Yes, my nature and thoughts are changing! But I need to clear up the mess, actually I don't know how to deal with people. I know it sounds so weak but I have no clue to deal with it. When you have nothing wrong in your heart for people and they misunderstand you and judge completely wrong.

I am an ENFP Personality, that today I feel for the growth of my own friends but they never understand me. I guess I am wrong to worry about them, Well the most interesting thing happened today is that I got to know I am ENFP.

From today, I decided to write atleast one blog post daily, of what I learned, because as I am single and don't believe in chatting with friends any more after recently break-up of my bestest buddies.. huh..

So, now I am starting blogging back! Stay Tuned for my write ups here! Catch tomorrow. Its time to go home and have some time to organize my next day.

Good Night!

Aayat - Yes, Living with love!

How do you feel, when you know that you are meeting last time in your life with the person who is the most integral part of you?

It is really hard to justify the types of love - I have loved 2 times in my life from the bottom of my heart without caring of world, and I guess its enough to love someone intensely without expecting from them back. When I loved my crocodile, I was mad in love and now I love my baraf I am sensible in love. Today, both of them are not with me, still I love!

Many think this is craziness and useless to fall in love when there is no scope of living with love. It believe love is fitoor. No one can change my feelings and state of love in this world. Today, I am taking my life ahead just with my passions, goals and karma. Yes, karma is my savior. I am not in relationship but I am in love. 

Going out of my world with new changes to live my life better and much better alone! I live alone because I am not a good person to have my friends and people around me. Isolation its what I have with me and that's enough to reach at my goals. 

I will stay here alone with my feelings. 

I am fine with the tags I get and I just want to live peaceful life. 

Yes, I am thinking Loud

Many times I feel like loving and feeling so pretty being so much called single girl. Life is amazing, as most of the time you ask life so many things and gets frustrated thinking that we are alone... and the think you wanted you need to feel yourself.. but that takes time to understand that what the self love is... :)

Yes, today after long I am talking back to my point... my love for my crocodile, I lied my crocodile that I love someone... but missing crocodile's presence, feel, touch and breath... yes yes it sounds so romantic.. but feelings for love are always lovely.. ohh... I am bhushing... singing for my crocodile...

'It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it
when I see you again When I see you again...'

When we share the feelings honestly in this world to the people we love or really admire a lot... people take us granted or doesn't consider what our soul says through eyes.. very few people dare to look in your heart through your eyes and listen to your soul through your words... but describing your feelings is the best and proud thing you do for yourself... Actually I am not behind anyone but I have learned to be very original and true to myself...

I really doesn't care who read it or not... I love to write rather than talking to anyone about my feelings and what I feel... Yes, Finally I decided to write again for myself.. Really i am coming with the beauty ( may be bored or time waste for many who doesn't are not suitable for my feeds),...

Yes, I am blogger by heart and bloody entrepreneur by profession... I can't kill my passions..

So, here I declare to think so loud through my words and cheers to my spirit of living my life in the way I want to... :)

Yes, feeling so AWESOME... don't believe just why! :P

Stay tuned with me... will writing more and more about my experiences. 

Love always hurts....Better escape!

I know I have been writing after long... But the grip I lost connecting my heart, soul and mind... I found again!

Yes, I am in love but still not clear with whom, am I in love with other person or myself! My love for my crocodile is never faint but intense love has again in my heart now... may be I am in love for myself and in addiction for other person!

Life and time makes you learn many important lesson which make you either rough or cautious, being rough is not my personality but yes I have chose to be cautious of this lovely diseases named love. It's very strange that I fall in for all same kinda peeps... may be that interests me... It is rightly said... and I sing that too.... 'Log kehte he pagal... hun mai yeh bhi na jaanu... dil lutaya hai mene.. ab kisi ki na manu... ' hahahah... its not senti but yes it is something I learned being crazy is natural mode of my moods.

I can't bear heartbreaks, hence.. I do escape from such situations.. Yes, its true this bloody LOVE, Addiction, Emotions are very much unhealthy for me at this stage of life... I am influenced so much by my crocodile or may be this a natural scorpion attitude.

Learned to be with yourself, because if you want to be with someone else, it may possible they are not interested to be with yourself.

GN 

Emotions are Useless But They Are Priceless

Truly when we grow up.... we actually have the same responsibility for the happiness of our parents! After years, I understood that its not just the bond of ‪#‎shaddi‬, we human need... we just need bond of ‪#‎love‬ with a lovely ‪#‎saathi‬...

Yes, ‪#‎emotions‬ are Useless but they Priceless too... I wish and pray everyone must get the deserving love and saathiya in the world! B'coz that's the true happiness! grin emoticon

Life should be - lived happy - living happy - will be living happy..... smile emoticon

‪#‎GodBlessEverySoul‬! ‪#‎AwesomeCommercial‬

I believe, your mind should be more positive than your health!

I am suffering with bad luck since a month.... first my worst internet connection issues --- then my frustration which forced me to take a break... yes I allowed myself to get lost in my world for 5days in Mumbai, the place I always want to grow and dream and live it.. like every headstrong women ---- when I came back to my city I got into stupid concepts of no-strings attached relationships, awfully influenced and forced to think, but came out of it within 3-4 days ----- then happened to suffer due to bloody riots in my city and almost for a week no internet...daammmmit it was hell for me and worst days of my life ---- then again my rootcanal pain killed me and treatment started ... the day I was light from rootcanal pain... ---- I got into suffering again i.e. Dengue fever... yes since 3 days I am suffering from it... and my sufferings are becoming hell... but tonight I am better as had good medications and injections... couldn't sleep entire night....

It's just can't sleep when my mind is negative... yes all these bad lucks have filled so much of tensions and negativity in me.... it's hard to make anyone understand in this world about all .... even my family is not ready to believe on my bad luck.. bcoz of that even I had started trusting that I have lack of skills and abilities... I thought I should leave my entrepreneurship and go to Mumbai and get a job....

I spend entire night with lots of sweats rolling over my nerves and devils dancing on my head....half a night I read ( reading always helps me a lot) Finally... I bannged  and decided why I started?????

And I was fine and got my gutts back to bring a good luck in my life back! Yes, the lady who inspired me the most this night is Sapna Bhavnani... yes I read lot about this flamboyant and truly Headstrong lady! Thanks to her and my self fire... I got up! I believe the best way to give self time and enrich yourself...

Hopefully I get well soon and soon to start writing my first book...( yes I am really working on the concepts ) :))

Seeya!

Yeah--- I do nautanky sometimes!

It's a high time, even its not a time for writing this post. I am in between many things, still for my quick minutes freshenup break!

I thought to post it... this big lol! Most of the time, I spend with my mom she talk about my marriage!
And this my reaction.. to make her laugh ......

Tarraaamu - A sound of my heart!

OMG ---- I am so glad to write my personal blog after such a long span of time... Yes that was a recovery period.

Ohww.... I am glad that I am now a solitude and resuming my blog with new sound of my heart here -  Tarraaamu... strange right? I believe all of us have a sound of happiness in our heart. Life and time has made me realize that everything has to just go on! No matter what!

Yeah.. I sound like a crazy person, but I am content.. I am thankful to my crocodile for making me a better person today. There was a time when I use to go selfdate alone with sadness... and now I am a Headsrong JC.. I feel happiness and power to be with myself. Genuinely, the best companionship I have in my life is with me.:)

'The Heart Want What It Wants' - actually  more than this song I love and strongly associate with the determination to the words '  the heart want what it wants '. Something which makes you feel that its your fault in your relationship and things remain unsaid... that's not LOVE.

Coming up soon with the life... as its not going to boring  anymore as I found the scorpion living in me...

CYA

Someone is happy with less than you have.

To give peace to my mind when I am very much tired, I just bang on or have look at arts.

Arts is something which freshen up everything in me. Today, I came across one photograph. Let me share here as well:

I went in silence mode and being an emotional character there was a suddenly oozing of tears in my eyes, don't know of what feeling it was. Life is taking me to a journey, when I am meeting my consciences da-nigh. Only one things I can understand these days that I have lot to serve... I have lot to give and I have lot than anyone else have in this universe. I am not trying to create any fiction here but my mind is articulate to create fictionary world for me which is quite very divine and pure.

Yes, whenever we become sad,,, we must remind and seek that someone is happy with less than what we have..

Amin.. :)

Road Roller Day...! Can't Resist To Write!

It's a day where I guess, I am experiencing new things since morning with a surprise!

Its my work time but I am not able to resist myself to write this blog. As within couple of days, I am experiencing changes in my thoughts and perception. Actually, its not judgmental but its a positive change.

There is always a time when I am already approved and simultaneously I have to prove myself. Today, sometimes I see and think that when you are growing why attitude also takes a hike! When the clouds of attitude and proud arrives on my mind, my heart just flush that out by saying just more thing to my soul - ' Hello Madam! Apna aisa konsa teer mara hai?'

Yeah actually, attitude comes in our life when we think that we the winner, by saying this  I don't mean to say that we are losers, but what is that great we have done with makes remarkable. There is no Kick as such all! Then without doing something remarkable how can people show attitude! Yes, I am trying to narrate the same, why people show attitude to me!

This was just one part of Road Roller Day, other part was people behave as if they are my fans and try to get the work out of me. Third, people who compete with me! Fourth, people hates and avoid me but I adore and respect them, and fifth people hurts me as they don't trust me.

All these 5 parts, I faced today since morning. I am feeling that is it karma or fiction...!

The questions go one... ! THINKING THINKING THINKING...

Being Alone

After months........Life Changed!

I am writing after long on this blog. Just because, I was lost to make myself lost. :)

Well, that's a diplomatic statement. Saw my previous posts, don't understand with what mood swings and with how many grammar mistakes, I have written those. LOL...

Yes, I laugh on myself. Life is very busy but suddenly today one of my old friend helped me to looking forward in the life .. he asked me to close my eyes and find in peace about whom I think the most. I was shocked it was still my crocodile. But I smiled and was happy that good things are always in me. :)

I have understood that living life is actually so pleasant than being just thinking of living it. Again a diplomatic one! When someone make you alone in your life, its never his or her fault. It's our fault, but getting out of that loneliness its tough and great job! My crocodile once shared very good thing that I always remember - one wants adrenaline to be so cool in real but nothing else. haha

No, but I always believed my crocodile and yes I started focusing on that for me. My crocodile said that for performing live really gets your adrenaline going people do boozing, sex, smoke, drugs, or many other things which effects them. I was like... Wooooaahh... is it so? But yes, it worked for me.. my adrenaline gets on going great path just by focusing on my self, I started self dating, having my favorite food/chocolates, made myself very special, focused on my passion, my pi club, my lovely pis', my lovely social media..,, Now, I say I love everyone and yes love my crocodile so much because my crocodile made me very independent and a better person than I was... VERY IMPORTANT thing! :)

I mean it and really feel it .... infact felt it today when in this shimmering winter I went alone on long drive and missed my crocodile's jacket pocket! hahah crocodile skin is good isn't it?? LOL

Signing off!!!! :) Looking forward to Christmas... since two years been with my crocodile... let's see what I do this time to make it Awesome again... ! :) Will write it! :)

My New Mantra for Happy Life!

The Jerk and Perk to read and write is so instant in me! There was a time when I was so conscious about my writing and when we are surrounded by conscious, in my case thing drop down. So, I figured out many things in my life which wasn't allowing me to live my life completely with the most happening things I wanted to do in my life. Today, I discovered a new thing while having a sip of my coffee in the morning....

"The More You Hate People, The More You Judge People, The More You Loose Your Happy Life... "

- Jenny Chawla

Photo by aprison aprison